Excuses Excuses



I'm a little bit down on myself lately and a bit annoyed with myself.

 

I have gained a little bit of weight. To me, its completely noticeable.

I was never super thin, ever.. I have always had what people would call "curves", I have thick legs and a big butt, which I always kind of liked, until I noticed weight in my stomach, and arms, and face.

 

I am so self conscious now. Even with my husband. I feel like since I have been with him, I haven't really focused on being active and working out. We eat out on the weekends, and we don't cook entirely "healthy" on the weeknights because my husband doesn't like too much. I have noticed my jeans fitting tighter and my t-shirts looking disgusting when I  put them on.

 I have gotten to the point where I hate my body. I hate looking at it and its depressing.

 

I know its a lot of freaking work to get weight off, and I know I have to stop eating the way I do, which scares me because I don't know how long I can keep up the motivation.

 

I went to the gym the week before this week, and came out of it really sore.. but my goal is to start going again daily with my husband after work. I want to make it a routine. I have cut WAY back on pop.. I was a dr.pepper addict. I would have 2 dr.peppers a day or more and now I am down to 2 a week! So I am really proud of that.

 

I am going to lose this weight. I am going to. I have to, because I want to be happy. I want my husband to always be attracted to me.

 

I am sitting at work writing, this, and I wish I could just leave and go to the gym now. I will go tonight. I have to.